The Expiry Date for Love

Foto: istockphoto

Does love really turn old? Does it ever run past its expiry date and simply wither away? And, more importantly, who sets that date? What exactly in our behavior, in our feelings, in our loving gestures or caressing moments, sets that clock ticking until the day in which the red light bulb starts pulsating and the alarm simply turns on, informing you that your love is now over?

Is there any moment in which you know? Any revealing instance where you have a gut feeling that you will not get to grow old with the person that is holding you in her arms? Is there any glimpse of lucidity in the midst of love and passion in which you ruthlessly tell yourself that everything is heading towards the end? How do we know when love is dead and can we really tell when it is so?

We go through life building models and looking up to people whom have obtained what we are secretly and intimately seeking as well. Accomplishment, personal fulfillment…that array of terms that most of the times we simply summarize under „Love”, the one word that brings them all together. We admire the long standing relationship of our high school friends, the enduring love of long-distance lovers, the noble persistence of constantly challenged love. And deep inside we wish for that day to come in which we would feel the urge of being part of a couple too, of partly letting go of „ME” and „YOU” in the endeavor of building „US”. And we secretly wish for someone who would awake that kind of urge in us to finally come our way.

What happens when it all falls apart? When you find out that the happiness of the people you were once admiring was merely a castle made of cards that a third person merely blew away in one single breath? When you wipe the tears off the faces of people whom you had always admired for their laughter? And, essentially, how can we wholeheartedly trust love again when what we considered to be its symbols fail us?

When it comes to love, it all boils down to what my grandfather once told me, reminiscing of his love for my grandmother. Faced with a pile of questions from the 17-year-old teenager disappointed of love, he merely looked at me with loving eyes and said „You know…two people will never be together if their stories don’t meet”. Stories? Such an old-fashioned term for a teenager to hear and, moreover, to take it as a viable piece of advice. Nevertheless, his words stayed with me and always will. Every time I’ve had a love traveling in and out of my life, I simply recalled his words and they made everything seem so incredibly simple and logical. Our „stories” simply hadn’t met. It was as simple as that.

What happens, however, when people’s stories meet and grow apart again? Can you really be profoundly in love with someone for a decade of your life and then simply decide to switch stories? Can you simply let go like you let go of a broken shoe or an old blouse that is out of fashion? If he were still here, my grandfather would probably say „What was meant for you will eventually happen. And that love that was set aside for you will eventually find you”. I believe in that with all my heart, because his words speak the truth, a truth that I remember every time I look at the photos of him and my grandmother or every time I look at my parents together.

Nonetheless, I often wonder if our 21st century hasn’t run out of „stories” for us to star in. Are we so caught up in our individual dramas and self-centered goals that we forgot to be part of a bigger picture? Of sharing our story with someone? Or should we simply take the failures of those around us as a mere sign that their stories weren’t straight, that something better was awaiting them?

It is much easier to question love and to doubt it whenever love is falling apart around you. It is nonetheless a sign of courage and boldness not to. To continue believing in happy-endings and to continue searching for that one story in which you will get to be the leading lady or the leading man. And to know deep inside that every failed lover will eventually find one of his own.

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2 comentarii

  1. Postat mai 17, 2008 la 4:49 pm | Permalink

    I don’t know how you do it but you trully are Absolutely Fabulous!

    Thank you for everything you have done for us.

  2. Postat mai 20, 2008 la 11:17 am | Permalink

    and I was telling you the truth because it seems that nobody else has the guts to tell you!

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