The Shallow Narrowness of Love

Foto: sxc.hu

People talk about „love” all the time. Ceaselessly. They all proclaim themselves human beings in search for eternal love and happiness and victimize themselves when their deserved love doesn’t come their way.

It’s all about „THAT” person to make it all better, about „THAT” person to share one’s life with, about „THAT” person to lay all your love on. And I’m not just pointing out the finger, I’m often one of them as well.

Is love really that narrow? Is love all about having a significant other, the chest of whom to sweetly lay your head against, to have someone to kiss goodnight and walk hand in hand with, and then have babies with that person as a sealer of the love you share?

Is love so incredibly superficial and void and is it all about what we own and about the people that are in our immediate surroundings ? What about the love we are supposed to share with the world, and I am not going to bring into discussion Christian nor Buddhist teachings, although I greatly believe in them. I will keep it simple and only bring into discussion those elements that can apply to the common sense of anyone, believer or non believer.

Can you really consider yourself a person able to love and worth loving when you are cruel to animals, cruel to other people, indifferent to the pain of others, still as a rock when hearing about the suffering of poor children, of victims of floodings or of old people forgotten by everyone? Can you really go home, kiss your „one and only” and gently put your head on his/her shoulder with no care in the world other than wondering if he/she loves you back? Are we people so incredibly shallow?

I know people who like to proclaim their love as if in a theater, for the public to see. They like to shower their beloved with love and care, to show what incredibly kind people they are. But, when all is said and done, they wouldn’t feel anything inside them move at the sight of a little orphan begging on the street or at the sight of a hungry dog whose eyes beg in a different, yet so similar way. Cause hey, that is not their problem. That little beggar or that stray dog are none of their business. Is love really that selfish and does it wear goggles all the time? Is it unable to see anything that goes beyond the sparkle in the loved person’s eyes? If so, I wouldn’t want that kind of love, then.

For me, love is intrinsically connected to kindness. You cannot truly love someone passionately and with all your heart and yet act cruelly and indifferently to helpless human beings who don’t ask for anything but your compassion. Which one is the real „you”? The one showering your lover with care or the one kicking the stray dog away with a „well-placed” shoot in the head? Which one is your genuine self and where do you draw the line?

I always said I would never date someone who is indifferent to the challenges of the world we live in. More important than his bank account, the brand of his car, the color of his eyes or the glamorous job he has is the way he treats other people. Not just the way he treats me. How could you trust a person who mistreats people and animals that are weaker than him?

Can you really „make believe” that he’s incredibly kind to you and that the rest is just…circumstantial evidence? What if one day that loving sparkle in his eyes that he has when he mirrors your look will become the same shallow and indifferent grin that he shows to the rest of the world? Why are we all so damn tempted to see ourselves as the exception to the rule and then cry a river when we cease to be that exception? Were we even one in the first place?

Perhaps we are too shallow ourselves to be able to gather that we are living and we are treated „by the rule” rather by its corollary. If a person is cruel to everyone, except to you, maybe it’s high time you asked yourself it it’s really like that or if it’s all in your head. I, for one, would be much more impressed with a guy that showed an open heart and compassion towards the less fortunate rather than with a guy driving a BMW but that couldn’t care less about the exploited children in Cambodia if that would prevent him from getting his trendy Nike shirt.

Perhaps I seem very complicated. Hmm…that’s probably because I am. But in the end, the important thing is that I know who I am and what I am looking for. We should all pay better attention to our inner needs, to the things that move us and that mean something in our life and refuse to give up on them. Even if it makes the path a bit harder for us, it certainly makes it much more rewarding. And it makes everything worthwhile.

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