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A Bench, Somewhere in This World


In mystery novels or thriller movies there is a commonly accepted idea that the perpetrator will always return to the crime scene.

That, in a way or another, sooner or later, he will feel the need to retrace the past course of events and somehow find himself in it all over again. Of course, that is something that both movies and books scrupulously exploit, since it is the handiest way of solving a mystery or bringing the plot to an intriguing end. However, the idea in itself is not at all far fetched.

Isn’t this what everyone does? Don’t we all come back, one way or the other, to our past experiences, to past places, people or to anything that had an impact on whom we are today? Don’t we always come back to the things that shaped us and expect them to somehow mirror whom we are today? I know I do.

Today I found myself again in the exact same place in which I stood 7 months ago. Vienna International Airport. As I was arriving from my weekend trip to Amsterdam, I passed the waiting area and it caught my eye. If I were to write the story of my life, that place would definitely be the background of one of the major scenes, the place where everything ended and everything started.

No, I am not trying to be philosophical nor dramatic. I am simply trying to be honest. It is our tendency to look back and reassess ourselves in the light of what we have become and if we’re lucky, it’s reassuring to see how our life has changed for the better. Or how we have helped it change for the better.

Sometimes, you may find yourself sitting on a bench, brokenhearted and torn. Some people call that heartache, some call it unrequited love, I simply call it destiny. Yes, sometimes bad things happen to us, things that make us cry, that make us shiver with pain but at the same time which give us the full perspective of how strong we really are. And yes, sometimes you need to go back in time in order to truly realize that.

As I passed that bench on which I once sat and contemplated mending my broken heart, I had the urge of halting for a second, of taking five minutes to sit down, look around me and backtrack. And no, not as a form of masochism but rather as a form of inner freedom, of acknowledging to myself that I am a winner, that I passed all that and not only it cannot hurt me anymore but it contributed to my inner shield, to the person who I am today.

We should all step back from time to time and look at our life from a different angle. To go back to places that meant something for us, to people who had a meaning in our lives and to experiences that made us whom we are today. In physical presence or merely in spirit, we all need that. We all have a little bench, somewhere in this world, on which we once sat and searched our soul. And if we are wise, deep inside our heart we’ll always know our way back.

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When I was in Belfast, I took a picture of a quote written on the wall of an Irish Pub. I loved it…it was so true. It said: „A nation that keeps an eye on the past is wise. A nation that keeps two eyes on the past is blind”. And it works for people just as well. You don’t have to forget, just…let it go, detach yourself from it. ... Mai mult

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History Repeating

As I watched The Hague drift away, I tried to provide myself with a conclusion that would serve as a closure for the first stage of my experience. I don’t know if I found it; what I know for sure is that I am going to keep hoping and acting for this world’s change for the better, even if I will only be able to induce an infinitesimally small change. It would be still a place to start. And that is the best I can possibly do. ... Mai mult

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