Arhiva lunara: martie 2008

A Match Made in Vodka

There are a lot of phrases going around about people who drink. Some are said to be “funny drunk”, while others are „bully drunk” or even “lame drunk”. However, the need of coming up with a slang to describe our degrees of drunkenness is simply the result of a growing trend of people being constantly drunk and enjoying it.

People who hook up, kiss and develop relationships or…the closest thing to that, in an environment dominated less by heart-to-heart affinities and more by the concentration of alcohol in the blood. People who meet one night and forget about each other the next morning because the effect of the rum and vodka is gone, people who don’t know a single thing about one another and who in most cases only have in common the firm conviction that red bull and whisky is the best combination to start your night with. And, without being judgmental, I cannot help but wonder if drinking your way through life really makes you temporarily happier or at least more carefree.

Often times I have complained about not being a successful catch for men when I am going out in public places, that in spite of my charms I’m sometimes inexplicably feeling somewhat the “ugly duckling”. And in most cases I have repeatedly wondered about the reason for which “Mr.Right” never revealed himself to me in any bar, pub or any place where people under 18 are prohibited to enter. As charming and witty as my general presence would be for a guy (needless to say modest), whenever I go out in a bar I seem to be as attractive as the multicolored wallpaper behind me and in spite of my ingrained self-confidence, it has often times made me think about the hidden reasoning.

Tonight, I might have found the answer to that question and it is reassuringly simple and obvious . However, sometimes you need to take the long road instead of the short one and the trip is worth the wisdom that comes with being in experiences that you had never even dreamed about before. Tonight I truly realized not only that my lack of success with men in bars isn’t an insult, but it finally dawned on me that it is actually a compliment. It comes to bolster what I have always known deep inside, that I am definitely not the easy, one-night-standish girl that you might find in your average bar, make out with and forget all about the next day. And yes, I already knew that before tonight, however I couldn’t help not think why I felt so weird whenever going out, like I was all alone in a huge crowd of people who were playing a game unknown to me.

Yes, I am indeed looking for love. Aren’t we all? Nonetheless, I am more aware than ever that my love is not to be found while I am sipping margarita in a local pub and will certainly not look like the guy that feels like declaring his affection for me after two shots of tequila. They know it and I know it. Actually, to tell the truth, it’s written all over my face… Although I am a girl and, as strange as it may seem, girls often times need confirmation of their chare ms, there comes a moment in one’s life when one must realize who the target is.

Frankly, you cannot market Chanel No.5 for people who are looking for a fragrance to put on when they’re going to play football with the boys. It simply doesn’t work that way. And you know what? That’s absolutely beautiful. Cause, would you really want to sell Chanel No.5 to somebody who doesn’t make the difference between Chanel and something you can scoop at the local Sunday market? It would simply be a waste.

I don’t have anything against people who prefer themselves drunk rather than sober. It is their choice and it makes them happy. However, I enjoy my sober presence far more than my drunken one. This is who I am, without make up, without masks, without rum and vodka to sweeten everything up. This is me. Real, straightforward and sober at all times. And the man that will stand side by side with me will love that real me, that “me” that would reveal itself to him in the absence of whisky or tequila, that “me” that is just there, any time and any day. And, more importantly, he won’t need 4 grams of alcohol in his blood to see me beautiful, cause I will see myself beautiful in his eyes at all times.

That is what I am looking for, and probably more than ever before, while I was sipping my coke in a crowd of occasional couples, I had the inner conviction that he is definitely not there… that he will never be there, in that crowded and smoky place. That we will find each other somehow, somewhere, away from this sweet and bitter drunken world where everything has a one-night expiry date. And the best thing of all is that…this is exactly how it’s supposed to be.

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